Expectations

“The Chosen People discovered in their own weakness the true mystery of God. …  Experiencing the desert will help you to discover the need for God, and to know that you are completely dependent on Him. … When you discover the truth about yourself and ask God for forgiveness, you will find, just as the Prodigal Son did, great tenderness in the Father and His extreme joy upon your return. (Father Tadeusz Dajczer)

In preparation for the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, we pray on the scripture of the Prodigal Son, with the focus being on the Father who loves both His sons and is always waiting for them.  Yet the older brother has much to teach us about ourselves too.  The brother was “angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command; yet you never gave me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your living with harlots, you killed for him the fatted calf!’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.” (Luke 15:28-31) The brother seems to have wanted attention and affirmation. Yet the Father was already present to him day in, day out, sharing His love. 

The elder brother seems to expect a grander reward than the ongoing flow of Love already directed to him. How often do we go through our day on auto-pilot instead of noticing God’s presence, passing up His small gifts and consolations? Perhaps even envious of the attention someone else receives? 

Our own expectations become a barrier to both receiving and giving love. We expect others to love us beyond their capacity, their brokenness. And too often we don’t think about their similar expectations of us. So it becomes a stand-off, each thinking about the other “I’m not going to care about you because you don’t care about me”.  Unfortunately, focusing on the other’s brokenness, as the elder brother did, we mentally brand them with their sins. 

But our sins don’t define us, God does. We actually can’t define ourselves at all, let alone can others. Only God can and, being infinite Love, the identity He gives is far grander than our ability to understand it.  Through mental prayer, we grow in this knowledge of Him and of ourselves. It is only in relationship with God that we come to learn who we really are, and we can’t grow in relationship with someone unless we have those intimate, honest conversations with them. 

“A desert experience is a time when a person becomes formed according to the rule that only what is difficult and gives resistance molds a person. The love of God, which is then born in you, should finally become communion with God.” (Father Tadeusz Dajczer)

Prayer can be scary because we see our weaknesses. When we abandon our will to God, He fills our soul, which then gives us more ability to reject creature comforts and continue to bend to God. The more we bend to Him, the more power He gives us to continue detaching, and so the more fulfilling detaching becomes.  Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, SJ writes “When a soul recognizes the will of God and shows a readiness to submit to it entirely, then God gives himself to such a soul and renders it most powerful succor under all circumstances.” But taking that first step can be difficult; the very wounds that need healing instead bog us down.

The ultimate gifts He gives us for healing are the Sacraments, and it is fool-hardy to think we’ll heal without them.  While a certain closeness in relationship with God can develop (as seen in the lives of our holy Protestant friends and family), the Sacraments provide a transforming Grace received through no other means. God is standing with us, hands wide open, offering these gifts to us, and what an offence it is to ignore His gifts or receive them half-heartedly. It is precisely through a whole-hearted disposition to the Eucharist and confession that He prepares the soul for growth in this relationship. The fear of honesty in prayer will subside in proportion to the sincerity with which we receive these. 

“Pray for priests because it’s a divine mandate.”

(Servant of God Fr. John Hardon, S.J.)

This of course brings us to our need to pray for all clergy and those on the path.

Glorious Saint Joseph, spouse of the Immaculate Virgin, obtain for me a pure, humble, charitable mind, and perfect resignation to the divine Will. Be my guide, my father, and my model through life that I may merit to die as you did in the arms of Jesus and Mary. Amen.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam 😊

Image: Salvator Rosa, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons