Straws

For the deliberations of mortals are timid, and uncertain our plans. For the corruptible body burdens the soul and the earthly tent weighs down the mind with its many concerns. (Wisdom 9:14-15)

There is an old saying about the straw that broke the camel’s back. Each person has a threshold below which they can manage and multitask all that life demands of them. Demands placed upon them beyond that threshold add the tension and stress which risks breaking the person mentally and physically. It is their breaking point. 

If you want something done, give it to a busy person.

It is common to overestimate our breaking point. We ‘successfully’, although with difficulty, juggle our responsibilities. That renders us overconfident and willing to take on more. More straws. At other times, people place these straws upon us either intentionally (such as giving us more to do in the workplace or ministry) or passively (such as not providing what is needed to manage our duties). An example of the latter is false prudence (frugality), not spending money where it is truly needed which then adds havoc to life. Ultimately, what is missing is prudence and temperance/moderation. 

Self-help gurus and life coaches may suggest a self-centered approach: streamline life to just those activities which provide you with joy or make use of your strengths and skills. Our Catholic faith gives us a God-centered approach instead. God has created each of us with a vocation that will be our means to sanctification by which we will one day come to our eternal reward. The manner in which we live out that vocation is where the proverbial straws are managed. Being a faithful wife or husband, and parent is how we live out our Imago Dei (being made in the image of God) as a reflection to them of God’s love, mercy, compassion, and justice. So, the nature of a vocation brings with it certain types of ‘straws’ that are necessary to live it out. It is when we find Jesus in those that we find true joy.

There also are challenges which life brings that are out of our control. A family member may have a mental, long-term, or terminal illness. Or (as many Gen Xers and Baby Boomers are experiencing) an elderly family member has come into their care. There is an element of the unpredictable in these situations by nature of its cause (e.g. health or aging). A person who is otherwise a master at controlling all circumstances finds that these require them to give up control and take on in its place the fluidity which their loved one’s journey demands. Spontaneity and flexibility now become much-needed strengths. 

“Work in great tranquility, joy, and generous spirit, for what is not done in one year can be done in another.” (Venerable Mary Ward)

Looking at one’s life to eliminate the straws that threaten to break our ‘back’, it is too easy to blame these situations (those which we cannot control) as if those are the straws needing to be removed. That comes out the very wounds which cause our controlling ways in the first place. Instead, the straws that need to be discarded first are those under our ‘control’. Often, we have tasks, objects, processes, or ways of thinking that we believe are necessary so our world doesn’t fall apart. Many, however, are self-protection devices. Fear manifests from wounds which then drives our thinking in the most insidious of ways. Collectively these create the greatest burden, that of the heart. 

Instilling virtues of temperance/moderation as the regulator of our lives, coupled with prudence to determine best ways to achieve the ‘good’ sought, will bring overall stability within which the uncontrolled aspects of life will rest. This is how one remains in peace in the turmoil, even if that peace turns out to be the eye of a cyclone. 

Blessings of Wisdom

My child, from your youth choose discipline; and when you have gray hair you will find wisdom. As though plowing and sowing, draw close to her; then wait for her bountiful crops. For in cultivating her you will work but little, and soon you will eat her fruit. With all your soul draw close to her; and with all your strength keep her ways. Inquire and search, seek and find; when you get hold of her, do not let her go. Thus at last you will find rest in her, and she will become your joy. (Sirach 20:18-19, 26-28)

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam 😊

(Images: camel, source unknown; tornado by Greg Johnson via Unsplash)