Vengeance

“It was I who stirred him up for justice; all his ways I make level.” (Isaiah 45:13)

Grudges. In our broken nature, we can hang onto every perceived infraction that our spouse, sibling, or others have done to us. These can build up and release in a fit of anger, or simmer in the background of our mind manifesting in passive-aggressive or controlling ways. Yet vengeance is God’s alone (Romans 12:19). And true justice is a form of love lived because it comes from God who is love. Thus, true justice is merciful. While we might not be prone to taking vengeance on others, how often is it imagined in our sinful thoughts? Our judgementalism can be a spiritual sword of revenge. 

Grudges, vengeance…these words carry a cloud of gloom. Our mood becomes the playground within which the devil can have loads of fun wreaking havoc. Desolate, angry, and frustrated, as we review every fault in the other person, our enemy will ratchet up our emotions and skew our right reason. God’s Word held in our memory is shouting truth to us to no avail. “Do you question me about my children, tell me how to treat the work of my hands?” (Isaiah 45:11) We think we know exactly what the other person needs to change about themselves, unable to hear our Lord say, “Shall the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you doing?’ or, ‘What you are making has no handles’?” (Isaiah 45:9). 

Change begins with us, and one of the most fruitful ways given to us by the saints is the Examen prayer. It is the prayer of spiritual growth and renewal. One way of praying the daily Examen can be to look for the fruits of the Holy Spirit in your day, for that is where God has made Himself known. Joy and renewal are inseparable in Jesus’ Divine love. Both are measures of the effect of Divine love in our life. Renewal without joy becomes arduous and unpleasant, and authentic interior renewal is evidenced by the joy that flows from it. Joy is our shield against the devil. 

In these negative thoughts, joy is absent because we are rejecting Providence. “Divine providence is universal in that all events, even the most personal decisions of human beings, are part of God’s eternal plan.” (Modern Catholic Dictionary) How much of my life has been spent trying to stop Providence rather than trying to save souls? This is more than lack of its acceptance. When I try to figure out solutions and control circumstances for me and others, I usurp God’s control. Based on my thinking, I try to stop His action or the actions of others which He permits for His reasons. 

God created us to live in Beatitude. Mary’s whole being was consecrated to doing the will of God. Mine, and yours too, has been consecrated to Him through Baptism. Many people have also consecrated themselves to Joseph and Mary which is a commitment to do God’s will out of love for Him and them. We must ask ourselves, what is His Divine Will? It is that we receive His love and then share it with others. Scapulars and medals remind us of this very truth: like Mary, our whole being has been consecrated to doing God’s will. 

God is God and we’re not. Only in this truth does true hope lie. For placing hope in my own designs can only fall short of that which is needed in my circumstances. Every situation needs Him, for its purpose is in Him. My choices and actions cannot be completed rightly unless He is in charge. Who am I to question His designs? Yet this is precisely what we do when we desire to change someone else. “I have not said to the descendants of Jacob, ‘Look for me in an empty waste.’ I, the Lord, promise justice, declare what is right.” (Isaiah 45:19) Our Lord God does nothing in vain, nothing without purpose. He permits the spiritual swords of our thoughts precisely so we have something to surrender to Him. With those removed, He can then purify our heart a bit more and renewal continues. It is then that a real joy returns, which is the evidence and measure of this renewal. 

All we need … is one simple resolution: to ask God “What is one thing I need to do, or not do, that will change my relationship with you?” And then do it.

This is the pattern of a discerning life, that of living God’s will: examining the day, conversation with God about the results, and resolutions for small but real change that allows the return of love to our heart. And ultimately, nothing can be more important because, at life’s end, love alone remains. 

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam 😊

(Image by Eugenia Marongiu from Shutterstock)