Praying with children

And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” (Mark 10:13-14)

In this month of October, our worldwide Church celebrates the month of the Holy Rosary, with October 7 being the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary/Victory October 12 the Our Lady of the Pillar. In the US, it is simultaneously Respect Life Month where we bring special attention and honor to the dignity of life at all stages, from conception to natural death. Central to both of these themes is Mary as our Mother, children, families, and the power of prayer.

Like all faith traditions, the Catholic Church has been losing its children to the secular world for the past 60 years. How would the world be different today if children, and parents, learned simple ways to pray? Memorizing the standard prayers is, of course, important. We know the spiritual power to the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be, as well as to say Grace before meals. While these dispose us to God, in themselves they do not build relationship with God. This is why our kids leave the faith: they think they’ve already experienced it and haven’t found what their soul is seeking. Sadly, without learning relational prayer, they actually have not yet been given the chance to begin the spiritual life which is the intended life of all baptized Christians.

Calming the chaos

St. Ignatius of Loyola believed that, in the Trinity, there exists ongoing love being shared between the Father, the Son, and the Spirit. We are drawn into this by chords of God’s love. Those chords of love aren’t just for grown-ups. They’re for kiddies too, even babies. The great thing about the prayer methods of St. Ignatius is that they can be embraced at all ages, enabling family prayer. For example, typical in any house is the kids running around and then being called into the room by parents to pray together, perhaps the rosary. The first step to settling everyone down can be as simple as praying the name of Jesus (St. Ignatius’ spiritual exercises 258)  Together breathe in the first syllable in His name, and breathe out the second syllable. It’s the most powerful name in Heaven, on earth, and under the earth (Philippians 2:10). Trust in the power of His Sacred Name to bring order to the chaos!

Posture in prayer is important too (Sp. Ex. 76, 239, 252) It should enable the prayer’s purpose. Very small children scattered across the room, laying on the floor playing finger fantasies with dust bunnies in the air still hear the Sacred Mysteries being recited. If a child is old enough to sit in story time at the library or be still in a preschool class, then in family prayer time they can sit with a parent or older sibling sharing the rosary, and be allowed to be ‘in charge’ of holding it. Follow your gut and act on it every time without exception (because consistency with kids is important). Make it a time of family embrace not frustration. And trust in God that it is making a difference (despite their wiggling).

Use their imagination!

Childhood is a time of pretend and fantasy. It makes a good time to learn how to use the spiritual imagination and 5 senses in prayer, and the rosary makes this easy since each mystery is a Gospel. Here’s a suggested approach:

• Have the family choose just one mystery, only one decade, to pray following the normal order (e.g. Mondays and Saturdays are the joyful mysteries, Tuesdays/Fridays sorrowful, Thursdays are Luminous mysteries.)
• Decide who will lead the decade, taking turns each night. Make it fun and pair-up.
• If time allows, let each person share a prayer intention, someone they would like to offer this rosary for. Invite the spirit of generosity into your family. Be sure, however, to include a desire for the whole family to know God’s love for them personally. (Desire in prayer is extremely important.)
• Set the scene of the Gospel. Let’s say it’s Monday and the family chooses the Nativity of Jesus. The parents/older kids can lead in using the 5 senses:
  • What do you see? (think about small details in the manger scene, clothing, etc.)
  • What do you hear? (This can include silence)
  • What do you smell? (animals, firewood burning, etc.)
  • What do you taste? (if no meal being eaten in the Gospel scene what else might they taste? The taste of dust in the mouth, sweat from the brow, etc.)
  • What do you feel/touch? (don’t overlook the feeling of warmth or cold, stale air or fresh breeze, hard rock, scratchy hay, soft dirt, etc.)
• Then read the Gospel and pray the decade of Ave’s, closing with the Glory Be. A Hail Holy Queen can be tacked onto the end too.

Last Step: Building Relationship with God

Now here’s the important part: after the rosary, take just five minutes of silence before disbanding. God will work miracles in those few minutes. These can be spent journaling or in stillness, as age appropriate. For example:

• Ages 2-5 can color in their journal, encouraged to draw what they just prayed.
• Ages 6-8 Once a child can write a sentence, have them write one sentence to God of what comes to mind from the prayer. They can spend remaining time drawing their prayer or talking to God in their head.
• Ages 9+ should write words that stood out in the scripture or Ave’s, impressions they are left with after imagining the scene, things that came to mind during or after prayer. They can spend their time journaling or talking to God silently about it.

There are many more creative elements to add but you don’t want the simple rosary decade to turn into a lengthy ordeal wearing everyone out!

Your kids will have joy in prayer if you do. So don’t let your own weariness lead to frustration over small imperfections. Take joy in the small moments because in those you’ll find God. Keep your children bound to God by chords of love through prayer.

Final thought: We all know families whose children have fallen away from the faith. Remember that in every rosary they prayed, they prayed 50 Hail Mary’s. In each of those 50, they asked Mary to be with them “now and at the hour of our death”. Multiply that by the number of rosaries prayed until the day they left the Church. Trust Mary to honor the sincere prayers of your child, that she is with them now and will be fighting for their soul at their dying breath.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam 😊

(Images from Pexels.com)